THE HAPPY CAMPER (BECAUSE THERAPY IS EXPENSIVE)

Daily writing prompt

Have you ever been camping?

RUN, FOREST, RUN

When I was younger and attended church camp, there was this kid who loved attacking anyone who dared to run from the cabins to the mess hall. He was a 14-year-old in a 9-year-old’s body. Most of us didn’t stand a chance in a fair footrace. We’d scan the perimeter around the cabin to see if he was (hopefully) stalking someone else, and if so, make a run for it. Even as a young kid, I was super-fast, so thankfully I never got caught. If you weren’t so lucky, he’d wrestle you to the ground and start acting like you were in cardiac arrest, flipping you on your back, and then pumping your chest repeatedly as he laughed hysterically. As an observer, it was kind of hilarious. As a parent, today I wonder where the camp counselors were when this happened repeatedly.

THE BIG GULP

I remember the orange juice. To this day, I still can flashback to the feeling of hopping out of my sleeping bag in the middle of the night as a storm raged outside, thinking our tent was leaking and my buddies and I were in for a miserable night.

Upon taking a step, my toes stuck to the floor and just got stickier with every additional move I made. In the politest version of my memory, I said, “What in the world is on the floor?” (Yeah. that’s what I said. I’m sure of it).

It turned out to be a Big Gulp full cup of orange juice that one of my friends had spilled earlier and hadn’t said anything to us about. With the storm and the sticky floor, camping wasn’t the experience I’d expected. Fortunately, weather cleared up the next morning and we were able to get some hiking in to salvage the weekend.

THE GLAMPING EXPERIENCE

Having been married for a number of decades, our camping experience today has a number of requirements attached:

Five-Star Hotel preferred (rustic chic works if we can find it)
Inclusive and well-maintained breakfast buffet
Great views of nature
Activities close by (ziplining, hiking, great restaurants, local tourist sites)
Fitness Facilities
Anything else that makes the experience above average in luxury

Yeah, I know. It’s not camping. It’s vacation. Believe me, I still love the idea of camping and communing with nature one-on-one, but when you hit the age where taking a step the wrong way leads to a month of chiropractic visits, you make accommodations.