What’s the first impression you want to give people?

Will Rogers once said, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” Such wise words and yet making that first impression comes with many obstacles – for me at least.

If you ask friends at work, I’d like to think they’d say I’m a friendly, personable and fun type of guy. If you’ve followed my blog back to its inception in early 2018, you’ll see I worked with an amazing team of colleagues on “not your normal” team-building activities over summers for a number of years. It was a lot of work, but I also reaped a great sense of satisfaction in creating our own version of Survivor, The Amazing Race, as well as a few original games we came up with (Relentless and Cliffhanger to name two).

Fortune smiled on me with those experiences, as it gave me the opportunity to interact with a large group of people that I normally wouldn’t have worked with in the line of our business. Even with the Covid lockdowns in 2020 and subsequently working from home, many of those relationships are still going strong – from that first impression to now.

Yet, that isn’t the way I truly am, initially anyway. I tend to be fairly shy with new people I’m unfamiliar with and feel nearly sick at the thought of public speaking. As most of us know, there are steps to making a great first impression.

• Be early
• Actively listen
• Be aware of you body language
• Modulate the tone of your voice
• Think before you speak
• Make eye contact
• Smile
• Be yourself

Be yourself. Oh that last one can be a wolf in sheep’s clothes. Most of us feel comfortable with ourselves and assume we can relate to others in most situations and simply…wing it. In the words of Julia Roberts in 1990’s “Pretty Woman” – “BIG mistake – HUGE!”

Not too many years ago, my daughter married her high school sweetheart at the small church on the grounds of Living History Farms on the outskirts of town. The ceremony was gorgeous with beautiful flowers, glowing candles and music with an indie flair. Before I knew it, my baby girl had a new last name.

It wasn’t until the reception that I came to the realization that as a public speaker, I make a pretty good writer. My girl and I had practiced the father/daughter dance enough that we were in lockstep with each other when that modern milestone of weddings came up. We were having fun, and it showed.

The best man gave a humorous speech that had the crowd laughing heartily. The maid of honor followed suit and knocked it out of the park.

Then it was time for dear old Dad to tell a few sweet stories and reflect on the couple’s future in a classy, touching and heartfelt way.

Thinking I would just be able to speak from my heart without anything prepared and no notes in hand, I followed with one of the most embarrassingly idiotic speeches known to man. I stumbled my way through what I’m sure guests thought was a pathetic string of incoherent jibberish.

While publicly sounding like I was in need of medical intervention, I was also overcome with emotions I wasn’t prepared to deal with in the presence of an audience. To say it wasn’t my finest hour would be an understatement.

You know the worst part of it all? I marred one of the most important days in my daughter’s life. I’m sure we can laugh about it now, but being unprepared was inexcusable. For that I will always be sorry and (to this day) mortified.

Did I mention it was on video and numerous cellphones? God help me it’s not on some social media site of epic fails!

So, that was my worst first impression. You live and learn, and when the moment arises where you don’t, you hope for the gift of understanding…and forgiveness.

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Have you experienced an epic fail with a first impression of your own? Do tell! We’re all friends here.