Lately, I’ve been thinking about chaos. More specifically, I’ve been thinking about the vast interiority of a person, and how it’s impossible to fully map the terrain of oneself. Relationships and interactions are collisions of people-in-progress, and fully knowing another person, let alone the world at large, is an impossible order.
Or, as Tolstoy put it, “A sudden, vivid awareness of the terrible opposition between something infinitely great and indefinable that was in him and something narrow and fleshy that he himself…was.”
This thing is infinitely great and indefinable—hard to articulate—but there is a pretty good representation of it, and it’s The Dark Side of the Moon.
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Midstream into the Covid-19 pandemic, I received the news that a colleague was battling a brain tumor. In prior years, we’d had events that I organized for charity each summer in our office. Robyn had been a part of all of them, winning our version of “Survivor” one year (if you could have seen her face!). After car parades past her home and years of her smiling face and positive outlook at work, saying goodbye to this gem of a person was more than difficult.
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