If you’re a husband, you’ve probably faced the mystical phenomenon known as “the opinion request” from your significant other. It could be about what to wear, where to eat, or maybe even the ultimate debate: which tropical paradise to visit for vacation.

Now, when my wife lays out a buffet of options, my brain kicks into high gear, and I instantly pick my favorite. But, spoiler alert—I wisely keep that little gem of wisdom trapped behind my lips.

Welcome to the land of second-guessing!

From my extensive experience (read: a few blissfully confusing years of marriage), I like to think I know my wife pretty well. This usually translates to the need for an emergency U-turn in decision-making. What was that brilliant first impression of mine? Forget it! I’m suddenly hit with the overwhelming urge to consult the entirety of her thought process before I spit out my final answer.

Am I using my instincts here? Well, “instincts” might be a bit too grand of a title. More like playing 20 Questions in my head from her perspective, and let me tell you, it’s like trying to navigate a maze while blindfolded and on roller skates.

So, how do you become aware of your own instincts when you find yourself wrestling with the inner voice of a devil’s advocate? Usually without even realizing it’s happening? Get ready for some valuable introspection, because it’s about to get instinctively thought provoking (and hopefully helpful)!

Learning to Recognize Your Own Instincts

Recognizing your own instincts can be a transformative process, especially when navigating decisions that involve others. Here are some strategies to help you (and me) tune into your own instincts while minimizing the influence of others’ perspectives:

1. Practice Self-Reflection
   Take time to reflect on past decisions. Consider moments when you felt confident and those when you second-guessed yourself. Journaling can help clarify your thoughts and feelings.
2. Identify Your Values
   Understanding what truly matters to you can act as a compass for instinctual decision-making. Create a list of your core values, and reference them when faced with a choice.
3. Mindfulness and Meditation
   Engage in mindfulness exercises that encourage you to be present. Meditation can help you differentiate between external influences and your true inclinations.
4. Limit External Input
   When making a decision, try to minimize outside opinions. Set boundaries on how much you’re willing to consider others’ viewpoints, particularly in matters that directly affect you.
5. Trust Your Gut
   Pay attention to your physical reactions. Your body often provides cues about what’s right or wrong for you. A tight stomach or a sense of unease might indicate that a choice goes against your instincts.
6. Visualize Outcomes
   Envision the potential outcomes of your choices. This exercise can help clarify how you truly feel about a decision, rather than what you think you should choose based on others’ opinions.
7. Embrace Imperfection
   Allow yourself to make mistakes. Recognizing that you won’t always make the “perfect” choice can alleviate the pressure to conform to others’ expectations and encourage you to trust your instincts.
8. Seek Feedback from Trusted Allies
   Discuss your thoughts with someone who understands you deeply, and can reflect back to you what they see as your true inclinations, rather than what you think they want to hear.

By developing these practices, you can enhance your ability to recognize and trust your own instincts, leading to more authentic decision-making that aligns with who you are.

Please provide your insights and strategies regarding decision-making. I look forward to your valuable feedback.